Indian Perspective on My Waistline

Well, not mine exactly - but "America's". You know - The Collective American Waistline. I went down to the Thai place in the building with a copy of Outlook Business for lunch today. As I thumbed through articles on exciting topics like Lean Development @ Toyota, the crunch for talent in the construction business & the growing demand for Islamic Shariah Compliant investments - I came across the photo of a huge rear-end on a chair.

As I read the article, I could barely contain my laughter with the sensationalism of the author in writing about the American Obesity Epidemic. Don't get me wrong - America is fat. We all (myself included) could lose some weight. However, in an attempt to tackle the issue seriously, the authour used imagery that was absurd (and yet hilarious!) - the suggestion that a bunch of Indian Aunties should get on a plane & "slap some motherhood into their counterparts" nearly caused me to spit out my lunch. Here are some sample quotes - little bits that I found unintentionally funny.
There, at the next table, was the epitome of American motherhood. Mother bear was devouring a bonding meal with her sweet tweener—a thin, petite girl, who didn’t look anything like her. Truth be told, it was more like looking at a whale and a sardine.

I looked down in dismay at my salad, which could feed an entire neighborhood in India. It was another reminder of all the hard work American mothers are putting in to help the US economy.

There are even steakhouse restaurants that offer a free meal if you can eat their 96 ounce (2.7 kg) steak in a certain amount of time. Want to try it? Make sure you have an ambulance on stand-by before you begin gorging.

My salad-eating, fruit-munching, fish-and-nuts focused mind simply cannot fathom how Americans consume as much as they do. It brings to mind something from Chetan Bhagat’s book, One Night @ The Call Center: apparently, call-centre trainees are taught that the brain and IQ of an average 35-year-old American equals that of a 10-year-old Indian kid.

So, today, at long last, American mothers are being exhorted to work harder at adding more fruits and vegetables into the family diet, while (surprise, surprise) cutting down on the sodas. Duh! A simpler solution would be to send a bunch of Indian housewives across the Atlantic to slap some motherhood into their counterparts.

After reading this article, I can't wait to go to Uncle Buck's Big Ass Steak Shack & chow down on some gristle laden beef.... After all - If I want the free dinner & T-Shirt - I'm going to have to step it up.

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